What’s that fucking noise?

The other night, roughly 4am.  I’m still up obviously, from all the cocaine I was snorting off a hooker’s ass while simultaneously signing the breasts of female admirers.

So yeah, I was in watching stuff on Youtube all night.

Had been using my wireless headphones (seriously, get these for yourself or someone else for Christmas, I can’t imagine what I did without them) too, so when I finally took them off, I wasn’t too surprised to hear a slight buzzing. Presumed it was the same kinda ringing in your ears you get after you leave a club or gig.

But after a while it was really annoying me, and I became more certain that something was making this noise (being the clever little detective that I am, I went into a different room, and lo and behold, the noise was no more). So something in my room was making this noise.

I checked everything. Unplugged everything. The noise remained.

Then you start thinking stupid stuff like, “Maybe this noise has always been there, and I just never noticed it”. It sounded like it was coming from up above, so I checked all my shelves and everything. Still, I had no source of this mysterious noise. Perhaps the voice of God.

Fuck it.

I’ll go to bed, maybe I’ll get used to the noise and it won’t stop me falling asleep.

Yeah. Fuck it.

Lift the covers off, get into bed. Lean over, switch off the light.

The noise stops immediately.

The light. The little elusive bastard ; the light.

I’m an idiot.

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