So It’s Valentine’s Day

Ah, Valentine’s day.

Innit lovely?

As you walk around the shops in the weeks leading up to the big day, you see flowers, hearts, and all manner of romantic gifts.

Fluffy teddies.

Cute little cards.

Giant obnoxious cards.

Heart-shaped boxes of chocolates.

Men usually put in the effort, surprising their woman with a romantic gesture, be it something grand like a trip away to Paris, or flowers delivered to work, or something more simple like cooking dinner for her with a bottle of wine and a  Tesco candle or two.

Women reward their man with a night of love-making.

You see pre-teens buying their cards, or looking sheepish purchasing a red rose for their bbz. It’ll be over in a couple of weeks, but sure let them have their fun. Puppy love never harmed a soul.

Today I saw countless couples walking along, looking extra loved-up. Holding hands, linking arms, and generally looking truly in love.

Back in school we’d make cards and the teacher would tell us the story of St. Valentine.

You might send one of the cards, and maybe even receive a couple. If you didn’t fancy anyone that year you could just give that card to your Mammy, or if you were a suck-up, to the teacher. If you were a massive stud like me you’d return from the bathroom to find your bag bursting with cards from secret admirers.

So on this day of love and romance, let’s all remember one thing.

Something we should never forget.

Amid all the loving gazes you’ll make.

The electrifying kisses you’ll share.

The simple hand-holding you secretly adore.

The sentences you’ll finish for each other.

The private jokes nobody else would get.

The glow their mere presence gives you.

The absolute vulnerability of being so reliant on one other person.

The smiles they give you when you’re down.

And the passionate love-making you’ll brag about.

Just remember this one thing:

The reason you exist is because your Dad slid his erect penis into your Mother’s vagina and rogered it until he ejaculated.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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