Ah.

Bed.

Good old bed.

Climbing into your own bed after a long aul’ day.

Nothing better, is there?

I go to bed on a Sunday, filled with the dread of Monday, but comforted by the fact that I’m being a good boy and going to bed early, so, all going to plan, will be fresh as a daisy in the morning.

How times have changed. I remember as a child wanting to stay up as late as possible on a Sunday night, trying to ignore that Monday was nearly here and it was time to go back to school. I’d try stay up, in denial, watching telly with the parents, but the veritable death knell was the Heartbeat theme song. A classic Sunday evening TV show. As soon as I heard that tune, I knew the end was nigh.

Now I’m older, it’s the end of the late Spanish football match that signals the end of the weekend.

I shave on Sunday evenings before bed. Shaving at night means not having to shave in the morning. A little lesson for any gentlemen out there looking for a solution to their early morning shaving woes.

Brush the teeth and off to bed.

Now to simply drift off into a lovely sleep.

A lovely, relaxing sleep.

Seems so simple.

[Enter Mark’s Brain]

BrainHey Mark!

Mark: Ah Brain, not tonight. Please not tonight. I’ve gone to bed early and really want to sleep right now. Sit this one out. Please.

Brain: Hey, do you remember that song ‘Gasolina’ by Daddy Yankee? That was a funny one wasn’t it? One of those songs where nobody knows the words, but you all still sing along anyway, y’know? Then it’s so catchy and you can’t get it out of your head, despite not knowing any of the lyrics. Funny isn’t it?

Mark: You are such a fucking arsehole, Brain. Just let me sleep.

Brain: AYALLY HOOT DELA GASOLINA! TALIBAN GASOLIIINA!

Mark: Oh for fuck’s sake.

BrainDELACANTELA GASOLINA! TALIBAN GASOLIIINA!

Mark: They’re definitely not saying ‘Taliban’ anyway.

BrainWell what are they saying then?

Mark: I don’t know, I don’t speak Spanish! I don’t even want to know. I don’t care.

BrainGoogle it.

Mark: I’m not Googling the lyrics to Daddy Yankee when I’m trying to sleep. I refuse.

BrainYou’ll be sorry when you’re asked about it in a quiz sometime.

Mark: It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

BrainLike that time in Junior Cert Geography where you took the risk of not studying Oxbow Lakes the night before the Christmas test?

Mark: That was so long ago and didn’t even count for anything.

BrainWhat came up on the exam again?

Mark: Oxbow fucking lakes.

BrainYep, you big fucking idiot. You even looked right at the Oxbow notes the night before and decided not to bother reading them. Remember how angry you were when you saw the question?

Mark: Got a few marks for the diagram, in fairness.

BrainOh yeah, Jesus, I’m surprised you didn’t win a Nobel prize for that one, Van Gogh.

Mark: Are you done yet? Can I sleep now? It’s getting to the stage where if I don’t fall asleep soon it’ll no longer be an early night. It’ll be a standard sleep.

BrainIsn’t it annoying that burglars have ruined balaclavas for the rest of us? You can cover the rest of your body up with warm clothes, but the face is freezing.  I bet there was a time when everyone wore balaclavas without any criminal motivation.

Mark: That is annoying, in fairness.

BrainYeah. They’re probably itchy though.

Mark: Yeah.

BrainYeah.

Mark: Yeah.

BrainLike an Usher song in here tonight, eh?

Mark: Heh.

BrainHey, remember the time you were talking to that girl in the lift in work and then as you were getting out you got confused between saying “See you in a bit” and “See you later” and ended up telling her you’d “See her in a late”? Oh man, that was stupid. You’d better hope you never have to deal with her in work again. She’ll definitely remember what a big stupid bumbling idiot you are.  SEE YOU IN A LATE.

Mark: I bet she didn’t even notice.

Brain: She definitely noticed.

Mark: That probably only happened because I was tired from you keeping me up all night, which you clearly fucking love doing.

BrainOn a more emotional and completely unrelated note, remember that girl you loved before? Then you broke up? That’s a shit one, isn’t it?

Mark: Oh fucking hell.

[Enter Mark’s heart]

Heart: Did someone mention the girl? Did they? What about her? Are you going to get her back? Get her back Mark, you shit.

Mark: This is not the time, Heart. Can’t we do this when I’m drunk and on the way home from somewhere on my own? You love talking about her then. Or on the bus somewhere and listening to a song that reminds us of her? Or even when we hear about someone else with the same name as her? Just not when I’m trying to sleep. Not tonight.

Heart: Why don’t you turn up at her doorstep in a nice suit and a big bouquet of flowers. AND A BIG DIAMOND RING.

Mark: That’d probably make her never speak to me ever again.

Heart: Have you not seen films? They love that shit, women. And you love her.

Mark: I don’t love her.

Heart: I can confirm that you do.

Mark: Fucking hell. Could we not have moved on at this stage?

Heart: Ah, remember her cute laugh?

Mark: I remember.

Heart: And how you could always rely on her honest opinion on your new clothes purchases?

Mark: Yes, I fucking remember.

[Enter Mark’s Penis]

Penis: HEY MARK, REMEMBER HER ARSE? THAT WAS ONE SWEET BOO-TAY! HOT DIGGITY DAWG.

Mark: Penis, you’re the last thing I need right now. I’ve already had Brain and Heart yapping away at me.

Penis: YEEEAAAH, SHE SURE HAD SOME SWEET JUNK IN THAT TRUNK.

Mark: I’m not arguing.

Penis: WANNA PLAY WITH ME NOW?

Mark: Not now buddy, I’m trying to sleep.

Heart: Aw, remember how cute she was when she was asleep?

Mark: Ah, you’re back again.

Brain: TALIBAN GASOLIIIINA!

Mark: Oh fucking hell.

Penis: TITS! I LOVE TITS! CAN YOU PLAY WITH ME NOW?

Heart: Do you think I’ll ever feel normal again, Mark?

BrainTHE VENGABUS IS COMIN’! AND EVERYBODY’S JUMPIN’! NEW YORK TO SAN FRANCISCO… a something something… DISCO!

Mark: Please, just let me sleep, all of you. I’m already past the stage of getting a decent night’s sleep.

Penis: I’M TOO EXCITED TO SLEEP! BLOWJOBS! PLAY WITH ME NOW!

Heart: Wouldn’t mind a bit of spooning right now, I have to say.

BrainDo you think David Beckham should have played in Europe for another couple of seasons before heading out to America?

Penis: MARK!

Mark: Oh fucking hell. Alright Penis, you’ve got five minutes, and that’s all you’re getting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Like the Facebook page.

3 January 2013For The Lolz, Life etc.500 Comments

my world
9/8/2016

I’ll devices this assessment towards Two products of us citizens: present Zune homeowners who are thinking of an up grade, and Those people trying in the direction of decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other gamers relevance taking into consideration out there, including the Sony Walkman X, still I count on this gives on your own adequate data in the direction of crank out an informed alternative of the Zune vs avid gamers other than the iPod line as very well.)

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9/8/2016

Between me and my spouse we’ve owned even more MP3 gamers earlier mentioned the years than I can rely, together with Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etcetera. Still, the remaining couple of decades I have solved down in the direction of a single line of gamers. Why? Since I was joyful toward come across how well-designed and entertaining toward hire the underappreciated (and extensively mocked) Zunes are.

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9/10/2016

This is taking a bit additional subjective, yet I much desire the Zune Current market. The interface is colorful, consists of further more aptitude, and some great features including ‘Mixview’ that allow for on your own out of the blue look at very similar albums, music, or other users identical in direction of what you happen to be listening in direction of. Clicking on 1 of individuals will heart on that solution, and yet another fixed of “neighbors” will come into check out, permitting by yourself to navigate more than exploring by way of very similar artists, tunes, or users. Speaking of buyers, the Zune “Social” is way too best enjoyable, letting on your own identify some others with shared preferences and getting pals with them. Yourself then can listen toward a playlist intended primarily based on an amalgamation of what all your mates are listening in the direction of, which is moreover interesting. These fearful with privacy will be relieved toward realize your self can keep away from the public against looking at your personal listening practices if oneself so pick out.

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9/10/2016

Sorry for the enormous research, yet I am particularly loving the clean Zune, and assume this, as perfectly as the good quality testimonials some other individuals include composed, will guidance on your own make a decision if it’s the straight option for your self.

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9/10/2016

This is getting to be a little bit further more subjective, nonetheless I considerably want the Zune Marketplace. The interface is vibrant, incorporates extra flair, and some amazing functions like ‘Mixview’ that allow by yourself all of a sudden look at equivalent albums, tunes, or other people identical towards what you happen to be listening to. Clicking on a person of these will centre upon that item, and a different fastened of “neighbors” will come into perspective, allowing for you towards navigate about investigating through related artists, new music, or customers. Chatting of people, the Zune “Social” is also outstanding enjoyable, permitting on your own identify others with shared preferences and becoming good friends with them. You then can hear in the direction of a playlist produced centered upon an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is on top of that thrilling. Those people fearful with privacy will be relieved toward know your self can stop the community towards observing your particular person listening behavior if on your own as a result consider.

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9/10/2016

If you happen to be still upon the fence: get your favorite earphones, head down to a Least complicated Get and question toward plug them into a Zune then an iPod and check out which a single seems far better in the direction of on your own, and which interface will make you smile further more. Then you may realize which is straight for your self.

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9/11/2016

The Zune concentrates on currently being a Portable Media Player. Not a website browser. Not a activity machine. Perhaps within the long term it will do even improved inside of people sections, however for now it can be a fantastic course toward set up and hear to your new music and movies, and is with no peer within that respect. The iPod’s pros are its internet checking out and purposes. If all those strong additional compelling, probably it is your ideal alternative.

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9/11/2016

If you’re nonetheless upon the fence: get your favored earphones, head down in direction of a Least complicated Get and talk to towards plug them into a Zune then an iPod and view which one particular sounds better to yourself, and which interface can make by yourself smile further. Then you can understand which is instantly for by yourself.

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9/11/2016

I will gear this evaluate to 2 layouts of individuals: existing Zune owners who are thinking about an improve, and humans making an attempt towards come to a decision amongst a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players great importance considering out there, such as the Sony Walkman X, nonetheless I anticipate this gives on your own ample information towards make an mindful selection of the Zune vs avid gamers other than the iPod line as well.)

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9/11/2016

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9/11/2016

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9/11/2016

I’ll machines this study in direction of 2 models of individuals: present-day Zune homeowners who are looking at an improve, and Those seeking toward come to a decision concerning a Zune and an iPod. (There are other gamers truly worth looking at out there, together with the Sony Walkman X, but I expect this delivers by yourself plenty of information toward generate an informed final decision of the Zune vs gamers other than the iPod line as effectively.)

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9/11/2016

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9/11/2016

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9/11/2016

This is starting to be a bit even further subjective, yet I much want the Zune Market place. The interface is colorful, incorporates further flair, and some neat characteristics which include ‘Mixview’ that permit your self out of the blue look at very similar albums, tunes, or other consumers comparable to what you’re listening in the direction of. Clicking on a single of those will middle upon that item, and a different established of “neighbors” will come into look at, enabling on your own in direction of navigate more than investigating by way of equivalent artists, tunes, or end users. Conversing of customers, the Zune “Social” is far too excellent enjoyable, permitting yourself uncover other individuals with shared tastes and turning out to be good friends with them. By yourself then can pay attention in direction of a playlist produced based mostly upon an amalgamation of what all your close friends are listening in direction of, which is furthermore thrilling. Those anxious with privacy will be relieved towards realize your self can prevent the general public towards seeing your individual listening behavior if yourself hence make your mind up.

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9/12/2016

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9/12/2016

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9/12/2016

Fingers down, Apple’s app retail store wins as a result of a mile. It’s a massive selection of all kinds of purposes vs a quite sad amount of a handful for Zune. Microsoft incorporates programs, particularly in the realm of video games, however I am not positive I might want to guess upon the long run if this portion is essential towards your self. The iPod is a much superior conclusion in just that situation.

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9/12/2016

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9/12/2016

Palms down, Apple’s application shop wins via a mile. It is a large preference of all kinds of applications vs a alternatively unsatisfied number of a handful for Zune. Microsoft consists of Ideas, particularly within just the realm of video games, still I am not sure I’d have to have in the direction of wager on the potential if this attribute is important toward your self. The iPod is a much much better determination inside that circumstance.

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9/12/2016

If you’re continue to upon the fence: get your most loved earphones, intellect down in the direction of a Least complicated Invest in and check with in direction of plug them into a Zune then an iPod and perspective which 1 seems greater toward your self, and which interface will make on your own smile even further. Then you can notice which is directly for by yourself.

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9/13/2016

This is using a little bit extra subjective, still I a lot favor the Zune Market. The interface is vibrant, has much more flair, and some interesting attributes which includes ‘Mixview’ that permit you abruptly see identical albums, new music, or other end users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on just one of these will heart upon that product or service, and a further established of “neighbors” will occur into opinion, allowing on your own toward navigate close to investigating through related artists, tunes, or people. Talking of buyers, the Zune “Social” is way too Wonderful entertaining, allowing for your self discover other folks with shared choices and becoming close friends with them. Your self then can hear towards a playlist made based mostly upon an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is moreover enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to comprehend your self can stop the public from observing your specific listening practices if on your own so make your mind up.

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9/13/2016

The Zune concentrates on currently being a Moveable Media Player. Not a website browser. Not a game machine. Possibly within the long run it’ll do even much better in just all those sections, still for already it really is a Wonderful path in the direction of prepare and listen toward your tunes and flicks, and is without the need of peer in that regard. The iPod’s advantages are its web viewing and programs. If these reliable additional compelling, quite possibly it is your simplest preference.

resource
9/13/2016

Involving me and my spouse we have owned more MP3 gamers higher than the many years than I can rely, together with Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. Nevertheless, the final couple of many years I’ve resolved down toward one particular line of avid gamers. Why? For the reason that I was happy to obtain how well-designed and exciting towards retain the services of the underappreciated (and broadly mocked) Zunes are.

blogging
9/13/2016

The fresh new Zune browser is surprisingly Wonderful, but not as constructive as the iPod’s. It works properly, but isn’t really as quick as Safari, and incorporates a clunkier interface. If by yourself often system upon making use of the internet browser that’s not an issue, but if you might be planning in the direction of read through the web alot against your PMP then the iPod’s larger exhibit and superior browser may perhaps be considerable.

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9/13/2016

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9/13/2016

The Zune concentrates on remaining a Moveable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a recreation machine. Possibly within just the long term it’ll do even improved inside of all those elements, yet for already it really is a very good way towards prepare and listen in the direction of your audio and motion pictures, and is with no peer inside of that respect. The iPod’s pros are its internet going to and purposes. If these strong extra powerful, potentially it is your excellent conclusion.

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9/14/2016

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