Ah, Bus Girl.

The girl you often see on the bus. You’ve never spoken to her. You don’t know anyone that knows her. You don’t know anything about her, except that you love her.

You hop on the bus home and sit upstairs, bored, and hope it doesn’t start raining before you get home.

Then she gets on.

Bus Girl.

In all her glory.

She sits upstairs, a few seats ahead of you. You always sit upstairs on the bus! You have so much in common!

She’s wearing her usual purple scarf.

Leather jacket?

Haven’t see that on her before. Suits her though. Everything suits Bus Girl.

Normal jeans – a girl next door sort of thing, y’know. You wouldn’t want Bus Girl wearing a short skirt or anything. She’s classier than that.

She always wears Converse shoes. Pink ones. They’re cute. Just like her. The cute little Bus Girl that she is.

You can’t see her face properly from where you’re sitting, but thankfully, as you look out the window, there’s a great shot of her in the reflection. Jackpot. Now you can pretend to be looking out the window. When really you’re pining.

She has earphones in. I bet she listens to the same music as you. You could go to gigs together. The kind of gigs you want to go to, but nobody else really knows the band, and you don’t fancy going alone.

She’d definitely knows some bands that you don’t though. And vice versa. So then you could make each other compilation CDs and everything.

She takes out a book and starts reading. She’s already half way through. She uses a bookmark to keep track of where she is in the book, instead of bending the pages like some people do. You don’t like bending the pages either! Made for each other.

She sneezes.

Just the one little sneeze.

My god that’s the cutest sneeze you ever did hear.

You’d marry that sneeze in a heartbeat.

She takes out her phone and sends a text.

Too far away to see what it said. Or if there were kisses at the end.

SHIT.

What if it was to her boyfriend?

There could be literally nothing worse in the history of the world than Bus Girl having a boyfriend.

She doesn’t have a boyfriend.

Bus Girl wouldn’t do that to you.

The text was to one of her parents. She’s just letting them know that she’ll be home for dinner soon.

She definitely doesn’t have a boyfriend.

She looks after her parents. And her little brother. She definitely has a little brother.

You could teach the little brother football skills and she’d watch and laugh and be impressed with your skills. Afterwards she’d tell you how adorable you were when you playing with the little brother.

Wonder if you should get the little brother a birthday present? She’d be really impressed if you did. And then him and the parents would really be on your side.

The mother would like you anyway, you’re polite and can eat anything she cooks for you so that’s grand. The father would be a bit surly but you’d win him over by knowing about football and cracking a couple of jokes. If he drinks Guinness then simply chat about places that do a good pint, and you’re sorted.

She’s taking out her phone again.

She reads it and puts it back in.

And there it is.

Clarification that she was just texting home.

Wonder if she’d make you change your Facebook status to “In A Relationship with Bus Girl”.

Wouldn’t really fancy that.

But if she insists.

Bet she does something cool in college.

Then she crosses her legs.

A real lady.

You wish you could see what she’s reading. Maybe it’s Catcher In The Rye – just like you’ve read. More likely though, it’s one of those books you wish you had read, but just have never gotten around to reading. She’s cool like that. Might have to brush up on your reading.

Maybe she’ll love your blog though.

She’ll find it really funny and think you’re really funny and girls love funny guys so therefore she loves you.

Shit, maybe you’re not ready for love.

What is love?

BABY DON’T HURT ME. DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE.

Right. You know she gets off at the same stop as you. She walks in the opposite direction, but still.

Except that time when she got off way before the stop. Wonder what that was about.

Say something to her. Crack a joke or something.

Then again, you’d probably make an idiot of yourself.

Don’t say anything to her, whatever you do, you massive fool.

God loves a trier though. And fortune favours the brave. And she’s not going to fall into your lap.

Come on, say something to her. It’ll be like the films.

Then in years to come you can make jokes about Dublin Bus bringing you together.

You both head downstairs as you near your stop.

You allow her to get off before you, with a “Ladies first” and a smile. She thanks you. And smiles.

After you get off she stops you and says “Is that The Smiths?”

Your iPod.

You took out the earphones to thank the driver (and try to flirt with Bus Girl) but left the music playing rather loudly. Clear for all to hear. And yes, you were listening to The Smiths.

You confirm that she’s correct. She gets quite animated and begins chatting away freely to you about how much she loves them.

And then you take her phone number.

Naaaaah.

You both went downstairs on the bus.

You took out an earphone and tried to say a suave “Ladies first”, but you hadn’t spoken for ages, and your throat had gone all funny and needed to be cleared.

So your charming “Ladies first” turned into a guttural “ladglarpi”. She looked at you with disinterested confusion just as the song on your iPod changed to some dogshit song by The Kooks.

She got off the bus and leapt into the arms of her troglodyte, mouth-breathing, illiterate, nose-picking boyfriend. He’s wearing a t-shirt that says “If found please return to pub” and there’s a ketchup stain on it. And on his tracksuit bottoms.

Ah, Bus Girl – the dozy fucking cunt.

Fine. They can go home and watch Jeremy Kyle together for the rest of their lives, feeding their idiot children icepops for dinner and having unloving, hairy sex, that gets interrupted with his growl of “Shite, I need a piss”.

I bet she was listening to some dance music shite.

And reading Ross O’Carroll Kelly.

And who the fuck wears pink Converse?

What is she, twelve?

Grow up you silly bint.

So you walk home and listen to this song and think about that girl that served you in the shop earlier.

Ah, Shop Girl.

You’re so much better than Bus Girl.

Don’t forget to join the Facebook Page.

17 June 2010For The Lolz, Life etc., Ranting349 Comments

nadex demo
6/13/2016

Hi , I do believe this is an excellent blog. I stumbled upon it on Yahoo , i will come back once again. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and help other people.

Dillon Houchard
6/14/2016

When I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the exact same comment. There has to be an easy method you are able to remove me from that service? Appreciate it!

You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

metatrader 4
6/14/2016

Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your site. You have some really great articles and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Thanks!

Loraine Stronach
6/14/2016

Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you so much, However I am having problems with your RSS. I donít understand the reason why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody else having identical RSS problems? Anyone that knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanks!!

Chung Girardeau
6/14/2016

Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Many thanks, However I am encountering problems with your RSS. I donít understand the reason why I can’t join it. Is there anybody having identical RSS problems? Anybody who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

Adeline Vanzee
6/14/2016

Hello there, I discovered your blog by way of Google even as searching for a comparable matter, your web site got here up, it seems to be good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

Onie Axton
6/14/2016

Itís difficult to find educated people for this topic, however, you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks

Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of the site is also very good.

counter strike
6/16/2016

Your info is amazingly helpful

madden 17
6/16/2016

I benefit from reading through your web site. Thanks for your time!

dota 2
6/16/2016

Great looking website. Presume you did a bunch of your very ownyour very own coding

This site was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me. Appreciate it!

You should take part in a contest for one of the best blogs on the web. I will recommend this site!

Wendell Kozubal
6/16/2016

Good post! We are linking to this particularly great content on our site. Keep up the great writing.

Linwood Biegler
6/16/2016

You should be a part of a contest for one of the finest blogs on the net. I will recommend this web site!

Porsha Collamore
6/17/2016

Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to generate a good articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I hesitate a whole lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

Jonathon Heyes
6/17/2016

bookmarked!!, I like your site!

Itís hard to come by knowledgeable people on this subject, however, you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks

This web site is my breathing in, really fantastic style and design and perfect subject material.

Walker Moehn
6/17/2016

Good site you’ve got here.. Itís difficult to find quality writing like yours these days. I truly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!

Howdy! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the excellent work!

Usually I don’t read article on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do it! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, very nice article.

Quinn Bouknight
6/18/2016

So nice of you to tell your side of the story. Perspective is everything.

Shasta Wernett
6/19/2016

I take pleasure in, cause I discovered exactly what I was looking for. You’ve ended my four day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

csgo weapon
6/19/2016

Many thanks extremely practical. Will certainly share website with my buddies

buy csgo ak47
6/19/2016

Keep up the good job and generating the group!

Bryce Vandorp
6/20/2016

Hi, I do think this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I’m going to revisit once again since I saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.

Attractive part of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital to assert that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your weblog posts. Any way I will be subscribing on your feeds or even I achievement you get right of entry to persistently quickly.

Thank you for good info about fresh concepts. But here our firm have a desire to offer you on homeowner insurance policy. Get affordable rates for homeowner coverage compare in few moments. Customer obtain estimate against top rated insurer. Thank you Regards

Good info. Lucky me I reach on your website by accident, I bookmarked it.

obviously like your website but you have to test the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth on the other hand I will definitely come again again.

Here
6/23/2016

I’m really loving the theme/design of your site. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility problems? A number of my blog readers have complained about my website not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Safari. Do you have any advice to help fix this problem?

fantastic issues altogether, you simply won a new reader. What would you suggest in regards to your submit that you made a few days in the past? Any certain?

I am continually browsing online for tips that can help me. Thx!

We are recruiting tower crane operators, riggers and labours to work in Australia. Excellent pay and accommodation provided. We can also arrange visa and airfare. Please contact Dave Brown on +61290438720

Your house is valueble for me. Thanks!…

Terence Wybenga
6/24/2016

The amount of different types of roleplay can you think of? Share with me and play with me today. Have a naughty taboo? Show it with me!! I am very open minded

Does your website have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an email. I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.

Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.

Estate Agents
6/24/2016

Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thank you Nonetheless I’m experiencing issue with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting similar rss drawback? Anyone who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Pls check out my web site as well and let me know what you think.

Real Estate
6/24/2016

Its such as you read my thoughts! You seem to grasp so much approximately this, like you wrote the e-book in it or something. I think that you simply could do with some percent to force the message home a bit, however other than that, that is magnificent blog. A fantastic read. I’ll certainly be back.

I have recently started a website, the information you provide on this site has helped me greatly. Thanks for all of your time & work.

Vida Jovel
6/25/2016

You’re so interesting! I don’t think I have read through anything like that before. So good to find someone with some original thoughts on this topic. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is one thing that is required on the internet, someone with a little originality!

computer repair
6/25/2016

I got what you intend, regards for posting.Woh I am happy to find this website through google.

An attention-grabbing dialogue is value comment. I feel that it is best to write extra on this subject, it won’t be a taboo subject but usually individuals are not sufficient to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers

Kraig Midcap
6/26/2016

Hello there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you Igenuinely enjoy reading your posts. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same subjects?Thanks a lot!

kala jadoo
6/27/2016

I have not checked in here for a while since I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend :)

Add yours