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Archive for July, 2009

Facebook Grievance #1

Alright, I’m most definitely a Facebooker. It’s immensely useful. I even set up my profile to post the blogs from this website up on my facebook. I think some of my friends read them without realising I actually own a blog. If you are one of these people, click here. See what I did there?

So where was I?

Ah yes. Sometimes, I see things on facebook that fill me with absolute dread and despair.

Tonight it got too much.

As most users will know, there are “groups” on facebook. Sometimes they’re fan groups or whatever, and sometimes they’re “causes”. I’m all for someone giving their time to a good cause. I commend anyone doing anything to try make the world better in whatever way they can.

But not when it’s shit.

Tonight I stumbled across a group that I found hilarious.

The group is so elequently called :

“1,000,000 PEOPLE AGAINST PEDOPHILES AND CHILD PORNOGRAPHY!!!”

The group aims to get to a million people that are against pedophiles and child porn.

Because there’s so much competition from the other side of the argument isn’t there?

Yeah. You know what? I’m frankly sick and bloody tired of everyone trying to recruit me to their pedophile gang.

Every fucking day, I hear people trying to tell me all about the merits of pedophilia and the glorious wonders of child porn.

I mean, them feckin’ pedos were just getting a bit big for their boots. All that unstoppable, relentless, support from the general public towards pedophiles just needed to be counter-acted. I think it’s high time we ended all the government funding that goes into child porn and all, y’know? I mean, I don’t even care about the tax benefits anymore.

Perhaps, with this new facebook group, we can change public opinion. Maybe, after one million people finally get off the fence and think “Y’know what man? I’m starting to question the morality of all this fiddling” and decide that they’re now AGAINST pedophilia and child porn, we can make things change.

Jesus christ. I’d say words fail me but well, they clearly don’t.

Since when do we need to be reminded that pedophilia and child porn is wrong?

Let’s have some stats. Currently, according to Google, the world’s population stands at 6,706,993,152. I’m going to say, for the sake of argument, that 0.01% percent of people are pedos. That’s one person in every thousand people (I think - my maths isn’t the best when my brain is allowed to melt in the summer). Probably being generous to them and all.

That leaves 6,700,286,16 people in the world that aren’t pedophiles.

I would hazard a guess that out of these 6,700,286,16 people, at least 6,700,286,16 of them would agree that pedophilia and child porn isn’t good.

I can really imagine them saying things like :

“Child porn? Ah now. That’s just not on now is it?”

“Pedophilia? Nah, it’s not the Mae West, I’ve gotta admit.”

Funnily enough, they ask us to join them in their “cause against pedophilism“. Well now. I certainly won’t be joining a group where they can’t even get the fucking word right. Honestly, “pedophilism?” It’s not a fucking religion. Pedophilia. Pedo-fucking-philia.

I bet if the pedos did unite (on Facebook no less) and start a group, they’d at least get the word right.

Now, I’m actually going to be semi-serious for a little bit. And possibly seemingly controversial, but hear me out.

In the blurb on this group, they acknowledge that pedophiles are “sick” but there “is no cure for them”. Right. They then say they should all be killed. I find that interesting.

I have no authority or even a basic knowledge in the field of psychology, but I was under the impression that pedophiles were born with that particular mental condition. They are, quite literally, sick in the head. Ill. If this is the case, there’s something wrong about the “kill them all attitude”.

Nobody think, for a second, that I’m condoning this sort of thing (I think that goes without saying, but it’s not a risk I’m willing to take really).

Let me make the (admittedly flawed - I’ll get to that after) comparison with homosexuality. We now accept that homosexuals are born with whatever it is that makes them attracted to the same sex. Years ago, this was considered a shameful illness, was it not?

Obviously the huge, inescapable difference here is consent and mental maturity. But I hope you can see the point I’m trying to make.

The world caters for all sorts of mental conditions. Addicts are treated. Insanity is a plea.

I’m not sure what I’m suggesting here (serious stuff really isn’t my forté, and on the whole, I’m a bit of an ignorant buffoon). I just find it difficult to blame someone for actions caused by something they were born with. That isn’t to say I don’t find the mere thought of those actions absolutely abhorrent (I think that’s the first time I’ve managed to get alliteration with the letter ‘a’). I don’t subscribe to the “kill them all” attitude anyway. Perhaps in time there’ll be some sort of rehabilitation methods.

Ah feck it, I dunno.

I’d like anyone to comment on this, I’m interested to find out if anyone sees what I’m getting at. I’m also more than open to the possibility that someone who knows what the fuck they’re talking about will comment and make me look like the fool that I am.

But yeah, that facebook group. It’s like having a group against murder. Or a group campaigning for people who enjoy happiness.

Obviously, nobody in their right mind fucking likes or appreciates pedophilia.

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Posted on 24 July '09 by Mark, under For The Lolz, Ranting. 9 Comments.

Yesterday, I Became A Man

There comes a time in every man’s life when he realises he’s finally crossed over the threshold into manhood.

This comes in different forms for different cultures. Certain rights of passage are passed down from father to son and the chain continues on forever.

Yesterday was the day I knew I’d become a man.

How might this have happened?

Did I learn to drive?

Did I break my record for drinking Guinness?

Did I have a threesome?

No, my friends. It’s even better than that.

I was asked by a scumbag kid to buy him drink.

Oh yes. I’m officially an adult.

There I was, loading my basket in Tesco full of beer, when I hear some squeaky little voice get my attention :

“Excuse me?”

I turn to look at the little ruffian. Can’t be older than thirteen. No way in hell. Spiked up hair, tracksuit made of some material worse than vomit, and a general aura of scumbag. The smell of placenta still rife off him (self-quoting from an earlier post).

I knew what was coming straight away, having been in this position a good few times in my younger days (slightly younger I may add, not fucking thirteen).

“Would you buy us -”

“No.”

Oh yes. I didn’t even let the scoundrel finish his question. I cut him off with a scowl, when secretly, on the inside, I was jumping for joy at having been asked this for the first time. I’ve been asked to buy kids smokes before, but never drink. Smokes are nothing, but drink is a big deal y’see.

I was tempted to go up, ruffle his hair and offer him a Werther’s original while I tell him all the tales about what I did in my day.

Then I didn’t get asked for ID when buying my beer.

Then I bought a “Bag for Life” to carry all my beer home in.

Woah.

I’m getting old.

Think I better go buy a twenty cent mix and a Wham bar.

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Posted on 19 July '09 by Mark, under For The Lolz, Life etc.. 5 Comments.

So How Was Interrailing?

Oh. Thanks for asking.

Very fucking good.

We left on Saturday June 20th and came back last night, Monday July 13th. I won’t go into much detail as that’s not really the style of this blog anymore. The more readers the site has gotten, the less personal it has become. I’ll give the basic info though, for anyone who’s interested or considering doing it sometime.

The cities we went to :

Brussels, Bruges, Amsterdam, Frankfurt, Munich, Salzburg, Bled, Ljubljana, Zagreb, Budapest, Bratislava, Krakow and Prague.

In terms of countries that’s Belgium, Holland, Germany, Austria, Slovenia, Croatia, Hungary, Slovakia, Poland and Czech Republic. All crammed into just over three weeks.

I may do single posts about individual cities/stories sometime, as there’s a lot I could say about some of them.

There’s was a lot of travelling and even more drinking. Very little sleep and even less showering.

I had a great time, and so did everyone else in the group I went with. It was still nice to come home to my own room, laptop, bed, and especially, bathroom with a lock on it.

If anyone has any questions or anything I’ll be happy to give any advice I can, and photos will soon be uploaded to my facebook (the username of which should be fairly easy to guess).

All in all though, travelling, seeing places, meeting new people - do it.

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Posted on 14 July '09 by Mark, under Life etc.. 4 Comments.

Home Sweet Home

That’s right all you Walsho.net fans, you can finally crawl out of your pits of despair and faeces, as finally, I have returned.

After more than three weeks travelling across Europe. I’m finally back home, in my own bed, typing on my own laptop.

I’m pretty exhausted so can’t be arsed writing more, but there’s plenty of posts to come soon. Let me get a good aul’ sleep first though, yeah?

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Posted on 14 July '09 by Mark, under Life etc.. 1 Comment.

Mams Always Know What To Bring

Mams are just amazing.

They just always know.

Whenever you’re going away somewhere and you’re packing, your Mam will always pipe up with something you would never have thought of.

ADAPTERS!

PUT A LOCK ON THAT BAG, I HAVE ONE IN THE DRAWER!

HAVE YOU GOT YOUR SUN CREAM?

SOME SUCKY SWEETS FOR THE PLANE!

BRING SOME PLASTERS, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT’LL HAPPEN!

BRING A TOWEL, YOU ALWAYS NEED A TOWEL YOU KNOW.

Oh mother.

Where’d we be without Mams?

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Posted on 1 July '09 by Mark, under Life etc.. No Comments.