Archive for January, 2009
On Monday I was waiting for a bus longer than I think I’ve ever had to wait. And I was already running a bit late - typical.
Anyway, I was the first person at the bus stop. The bus stop I was waiting at is directly across from a McDonald’s. After about two minutes, someone else joined me at the bus stop, she’d left McDonald’s, presumably after a nice, wholesome, nutritious breakfast.
After about ten or twelve minutes, there were four of us waiting. I was getting increasingly irritated at the bus taking so long. It never takes that long. I have a tutorial for Christ’s sake!
Fifteen minutes. Seriously, what’s the story here?
Twenty minutes, you’re having a laugh mate. Dublin fucking bus, you are having a laugh.
After this length of time I start to worry. Maybe the bus isn’t running today, or it’s on a different route. Nah, can’t be, there’s other people here too. But I was the first person here, they’re following my lead. I’m taking them down this wayward path. Nah, fuck it, it’s just late.
The McDonald’s woman then tempted fate. She did something everyone knows you can’t do. She went to do something else while waiting for the bus and hoped to get back by the time the bus came.
She’d been waiting twenty minutes for the bus to come, but decided, fuck it, and went across into McDonald’s again!
Oh no sister, you did not just do that.
A smile crept onto my face, as I knew, as did everyone at the bus stop, that as soon as she got in those McDonald’s doors, the bus was going to come. There was no chance that she’d get back out on time. Not a fucking chance.
The bus came around the corner, McBitch was still getting her food, no sign of her. We got on the bus, and it drove off. I wish I could have gone back just to see her face when she got out again and saw the bus stop deserted.
Normally I don’t revel in the misfortune of others, but she really deserved to miss that bus. You don’t go anywhere after waiting that long for a bus. You especially don’t go into disgusting McDonald’s, when you were already in there twenty minutes ago. It’s like a smoker lighting up a cigarette while waiting for a bus - you’re not going to get to finish it mate.
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Posted on 24 January '09 by Mark, under Life etc., Ranting. 1 Comment.
Sorry I haven’t posted in so long, I’ve been busy trying to keep up with college work.
Anyway, I’ve come to notice lately how active my imagination is during lectures, listening to things lecturers says and twisting them into weird images in my head.
For example, my business lecturer discussing the consumer’s choice between a PC and an Apple. Obviously he means choosing between Windows and Mac, but for your pleasure I have used my excellent MS Paint skills to give you a rendering of the image my mind instantly conjured up :
I really need a PC, but I’m seriously fucking starving. Gimme the apple. Insurance? How much? Nah fuck it, I’ll take the risk.
Later on, that lecturer was discussing an article by two guys, Moldoveanu and Martin were their names, so after a while he began to abbreviate by just saying “M&M”. I couldn’t help but imagine the white rapper Eminem rapping about the battle between capital and talent.
Finally, my sociology lecturer was using a painting of the Last Supper in one of his slides. UnFortunately he had titled it as “The Last Super”.
The Last Super. The Last Sssssuper! The Last Super-dee-duper!
I haven’t asked others about this yet, but I’m fairly certain I was the only person in that lecture hall that began to imagine the Last Supper as a drunken, flirty gathering of a group of camp effeminate men.
Oh Jesus, this wine is FABULOUS! Made from your own blood you say? Oooh I say, what’s the chocolate cake made from then? Whoopsies I did a rudie joke!
Judas, go easy on the wine dear, you’re all over our Lord!
Thomas sweetie, get this plate away from me, I’m not eating any more. Gotta watch my figure, ‘cos nobody else will eh?
Peter hun, stick the music on, I don’t care what you pick, I just want to DANCE!
So yeah, college is going well.
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Posted on 18 January '09 by Mark, under Education, Life etc.. 5 Comments.
Happy New Year to all beloved readers.
Those of you who don’t use RSS to keep up with updates will have noticed a new theme on this blog. This is a free theme I found, and have not finished preening just yet, but I’m pretty happy with it. Let me know what you think of it please.
2009 has begun for me with my left ear blocked up, thus rendering me half deaf. It’s been like this for nearly a week and it’s really getting on my nerves.
To make matters worse, I can’t even drink my troubles away, as I’m trying to go the whole month of January without alcohol (excluding the early hours of the 1st, as NYE celebrations carried over). This will not be easy, but a friend of mine is trying it too, so at least I won’t be alone in my quest. I’m waiting until I start sweating and shaking profusely with the withdrawal.
I’m back to college on Monday. I was reminded informed of this the other day and was shocked, I was convinced we’d have more time off. There were so many things I wanted to do over the holidays, and I’ve done nothing.
Sick, half deaf, sober, returning to college too soon: all in all, fuck you 2009. I want 2008 back. That guy wasn’t amazing or anything, but at least I knew him. Better the devil you know.
The turning of the year brings a sense of hope and change. People make resolutions. Everyone’s gonna be different, everything’s gonna be great. The cynic in me thinks pretty negatively about all this kind of shite, but in the end I think it’s handy. In the same way Lent is handy. I remember a friend in college talking about giving up things for Lent. He’s not religious at all and I asked, why not just pick any random month (or forty days) to give up something? He explained how Lent has nothing to do with religion for him, and there’s probably plenty of atheists out there giving up things for Lent. It’s an excuse or a reason to do something. A little extra push to do something, that otherwise you might just think “What’s the point?”.
New Year Resolutions and New Year goals are like that. If there’s something you know you should stop doing, or something you should start doing, why not just fucking do it now, or last month, or last week? It’s hard to explain I guess. A feeling of a fresh and clean slate, a reason to change bad habits and begin new ones. And, if you stick to your resolution, you’ll know exactly how long it’s been since you last smoked, or been doing 50 sit-ups every morning.
Setting tasks and goals and actually writing them down (or typing them up) is generally the only way I really get things done. Otherwise my free time is an unstructured mess and the only thing I achieve is making my own lunch, which is usually something shit like beans on toast or microwave pasta.
I had a notepad file (I fucking love Notepad, and have an inexplicable loyalty to it) typed up with some things I needed to do. Some were short term (”Tidy room”) and some were longer term. But of course, my laptop froze and had to be shut down, and I hadn’t saved the file (MS Word > Notepad in this scenario, I’m ashamed to admit). Now I still haven’t gotten around to my only task - “rewrite tasks”. The word “task” seems really weird to me now. Task. Task task task.
I’m really rambling now, so I’ll end here. Happy new year!
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Posted on 2 January '09 by Mark, under Life etc.. 2 Comments.
