Back in the game

I’ve been mentioning lately that I’m back in the Internet Entrepreneur mode, but haven’t yet given details. So, here we go.

Over the past week I’ve been developing CleanseAcne.com, editing the site and writing content for it (which involved quite a bit of research). The articles on there total up about 1,200 words, so I wasn’t exactly lazy. Anyway, I sold the site last night for $80, which I was happy enough with. There were some people bidding who seemed very keen, and I have two people wanting me to let them know if the sale collapses for some reason, so I must have done something right!

Next up, an old website - GuideToWordpress.com, which was a collaboration between myself and Smemon. Admittedly I did very little work on this project (basically I let him use the domain which I owned), so when we completed the sale for $75, there was a split of 80/20 in his favour - a perfectly fair arrangement in my eyes.

Add to this $10 for a link sale (on here) and ~$7 from TNX links, and I’m around $100 on the first full week back. Not too shabby.

I’ve also been working on the sale of ImgSlut.com, which should have sold to someone who offered $40 just for the domain. He has not been online since though, and I’m starting to get tired of waiting.

I also picked up the domains AndreiArshavin.org and AndreiArsashavin.info. This guy is a Russian footballer who has lit up the Euro 2008 competition, and a few big name clubs are rumoured to be after him. Because I’m so lazy, I’d like to just sell the domains for a small profit, but may have to put a website up and sell for slightly more. Time will tell, I’m in no rush. If he moves to a large club then the value of these domains could rise significantly, so I shouldn’t be hasty.

I have a main project that I’m trying to get going, but it’s proving difficult to get off the ground. I’m keeping this to myself right now, but it’s nothing too new at all.

In the meantime I’m going to keep trying to clear my server and sell off some of the 20 or so domains I own. Does anyone want a really terrible domain & adsense website for free? It’s ‘goinghairless.info’, and cost me shit all to make, and I’m sick of having so many domains lying around idle, so if anyone wants it, leave a comment and it’s yours.

So, things are getting going again. Small money at the moment, but that’s to be expected. By the by, did anyone happen to notice who’d purchased an Entrecard ad on this blog yesterday? The big dog, that’s who.

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The sound of cutlery

It makes me want to die.

 Ugh. Just looking at that picture makes me shiver. I don’t know what it is lately, but every time I hear someone taking out a knife or fork, the sound of the cutlery clinking together makes me want to kill myself. Honestly, my skin crawls, stomach turns and my [body part] [verb]s. Today I was taking out the knives and forks for dinner, nearly wretching, and felt like running away to some faraway uncultured land where everyone eats with their hands, or merely straight off the carcass of a slain animal. It really is awful.What is the explanation for this sudden hatred of all sounds cutlery-related? Has my hearing developed some new sensitivity? Do we just have poor quality cutlery? Have I finally hit puberty? Who knows?

Does anyone else have something like this?

And don’t even get me started on when you scrape your fork off your teeth.

Note : During the course of this post, I said the word “cutlery” so often that it has lost all meaning, and now really looks like I haven’t even spelled it correctly.

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Win a Creative Vado

An online friend of mine, Jason, is running a contest, with a prize of the new Creative Vado, as seen below.

Pretty sexy isn’t it? Details of the competition can be found at this link, or alternatively this one, and here is my entry.

So to win this I must explain how I’ll make money online using this gorgeous little piece of equipment.

Firstly, any readers of this blog will know that for the past few months my main focus has been on my exams, and they finished just over a week ago, so only now am I getting back into the Make Money Online mode. And I’m loving it. Having been out of the game for so long, I’m back in with renewed enthusiasm and vigour, and this pocket video camera would find no more suitable home than my own.

As a blogger I’ve achieved a good few things. I’ve been published in national newspapers, been blogged about by some bigtime names, and even been named in the list of top 30 bloggers under the age of 21 (having just turned 18 ). But during all my time blogging, I have never, ever, made a video post. Why? I simply do not have the technology. If I were to win this Creative Vado, I could incorporate video blogging into my posts on here, which I feel would add a whole extra dimension to the blog. People around the world deserve to rest their reading eyes and listen to the soothing sounds of my voice and allow my accent to glide in and massage their ears. Obviously the mere sound of my voice would drive millions to the blog, causing an unprecedented rise in the value of the site and advertising on it.

Secondly, I am one cool, popular, modest, handsome devil. I mean, check me out. Here’s me with a famous rockstar by the name of Carl Barat.

The coolness is undeniable. And look at the sparkley eyes on me. Like two crystal clear pools of blue.

I think I could make plenty of money online simple selling images and videos (adult or otherwise) of myself. I already know of one woman who told me she’d love to have more pictures of me. The reason for this? Some would say it’s because I’m her son. I however, believe it is because I’m just too irresistibly handsome, and she would like something to treat herself and her posse of female friends with. The vast plains of the internet are quickly drying, and they need to be irrigated with images of me in various locations doing all kinds of wacky things. The masses are crying out to throw their money at me for this.

Other ways I could use this to make money online include using a video to advertise some products of mine/affiliate products, then sending traffic to the video on both Youtube and Metacafe. Or I could always sell the thing on ebay. Really though, I’d like to stick to the “I’m so handsome and cool” route I’ve taken here.

Finally, I ask that Jason and Derek show some human qualities and reach out to my poor kitten. Here he is :

Yes, that is my cat. And after he accidentally ate the cookie he had made for me, he felt awful. You know what he said to me?

“The only thing that could make me feel better is a creative vado.”

Well there you have it. For the sake of coolness, attractiveness and feline wellbeing, I deserve that pocket video camera.

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They think it’s all over

It is now!

And so it ends. My Leaving Cert is over. Two weeks of exams and late night cramming, following six years of secondary education to prepare us for these exams and the “real world” that’s soon to come crashing around us when we leave. So how do I feel?

Ah, you know yourself. Grand sure.

It’s all a bit anti-climatic. The Physics exam today was mixed. I stayed up late last night, managing to cram in just three hours of sleep (yet am still surprisingly chirpy today). I got a little unlucky in the experiments section. From the mechanics section I left out one experiment - and they only went and feckin’ asked it. So that threw me a bit, and in the other sections there were just some tricky bits. However, I stringed together the pieces of knowledge I’d forced into my head just hours beforehand, and winged it a bit. Not my best exam by any means, but it could have been worse. I’m disappointed with it, but considering how badly it could have gone, I guess I should be grateful. I got the sense it was a backup paper though. This idea came because of a few things missing that I thought were a shoe-in, along with a good few corrections the supervisor had to call out. Basic mistakes in the paper. This didn’t happen with any other exams for me. The State Exams Commission logo was coloured differently on the front too.  Probably just me though.

I’m looking around my room and seeing old school and exam timetables, books and notes strewn about, making a pigsty look like the inner decor of the Vatican (there’s a comparison drawn straight from my English Leaving Cert essay!). What the hell do I do with all this stuff? Burning it would be satisfying, but selfish (think of the environment and the poor peasant children who can’t afford such literature). Shall I give some to friends just embarking on their wonderful, unforgettable (read : arduous and hellish) journey that is the Leaving Cert? They probably have new books now though, complete with some fancy technological pen that does all the writing for you. Pfft, kids today. Maybe try sell on ebay? Ah jesus, I’ve just finished my leaving cert, I don’t need such decisions. In the attic with them for the rest of eternity now.

I hate to be sentimental, but it’s a bit sad. I’ve truly left school now. While the LC was pretty tough going, I sort of miss it. There were some high points, namely a few posts from here getting into the Irish Times on a couple of occasions (IT lads, gis’ a job yeah? Honestly, I make a savage cup of coffee, and I can do all the menial writing jobs for ye’.)

I’ve gone absolutely mental since finishing, as you may have guessed from the fact that I’m currently blogging.

Nah, I’ve just watched the penultimate episode of the Sopranos, a series I started watching last Christmas. Terribly sad altogether, I love that show, and with only one episode left, I don’t know what I’ll be doing with myself without Tony and the crew to entertain me. I’ve got the final episode lined up and ready to go after I finish this post. I hope to do a full Sopranos post sometime soon. Finishing the Leaving Cert and finishing the Sopranos all in one day - an epic 24 hours. Made even better by the fact that it’s still only half three and I’m half way through my first can of beer with plenty more to go. After that episode, and after wiping away the streams of tears I think it’ll be time to play some bass, having not been able to play it for ages now. And tonight, who knows? All I know is that I want my liver berating me in the morning.

Anyone concerned with the LC, keep an eye on here over the next few days, I’m planning a sort of “advice” post, while the whole experience is still fresh in my mind. I reckon I should be charging for such things, but alas, I’m a kind, selfless soul.

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Last exam eve

Tomorrow I sit my last Leaving Cert exam. Six years of secondary education concludes tomorrow with Physics.

Sadly I’ve gotten a bit complacent and haven’t studied all that well this weekend, so it’ll be a proper late night cramathon tonight, trying to learn off all the definitions, formulae and experiments that Physics involves. I’m in minor freak out mode, so this post will be cut short, I really have no time to spare.

This time tomorrow I’ll be free and probably already intoxicated.

Later folks.

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Nine down, one to go

One exam left. The final hurdle, and it’s not until next Monday. Huzzah!

Today I had French and History. Unfortunately yesterday I had a pretty bad headache I just couldn’t shrug off. No amount on painkillers could help, and I found it pretty hard to study with it. I think it may be a combination of sleep deprivation and caffeine. So I got very little study done last night, and was pretty worried about today’s exams.

Overall, they could have been worse. French was mixed. The written paper was quite awkward. The comprehensions were not topical, and the written questions couldn’t have been predicted. While I’m not asking for the exam to be easy and predictable, surely it wouldn’t hurt to actually have us write about topical things, rather than the drivel I suffered with today (loss of tradition and too much noise). On the upside, the Aural was pretty easy, especially when compared with previous years.

Then there was History. This was the closest I’ve come to freaking out during these exams, as I coolly declared that this was going to be a disaster. Thankfully, it wasn’t quite as much of a disaster as I’d feared (it was more of a minor-fishing-boat-sinking-but-all-passengers-surviving than a Titanic type situation). This was down to pure luck, as the few things I knew half decently came up, and I managed to cope with the ridiculously tight time limits of this exam. However, on the whole, the paper was a joke, and I imagine some people were really caught out. Out of any exams I’ve taken so far, this one is most likely to cause uproar - there always seems to be one or two exams every year that “cause uproar”. It was plainly obvious that they were trying to catch students out.

The document question was on Vietnam. Thank Christ. However, the questions asked were tricky, and I thought the contexualisation question (”Why was President Johnson unable to win the war in Vietnam?”) was difficult enough. I think most students would have been better prepared on how opposition to the war grew or how the Tet Offensive was a turning point in the war.

Home Rule was not asked in Ireland : Topic 2, which is an absolute joke. Home rule is the main part of that section! It was “guaranteed” that CS Parnell would be coming up, but he was nowhere to be seen. Where were you Charlie babe?There was a ridiculous question comparing John Redmond and Edward Carson. I mean, come on, who would have studied that in great detail? The question I did was about Cultural Revival, and I had learned the three organisations that played a big role in this - The GAA, the Gaelic League, and The Anglo-Irish Literary revival. The question asked about the first two, but then (just to be feckin’ awkward) asked about WB Yeats instead of the Literary Revival. I got on alright, but it was just annoying. There’s three main organisations for that section, so why are they not just asking about them? Simply to be awkward is why. To try to explain this a little better, here’s a (poor) analogy :

What did the following contribute to the world of Sport 1990-2008 : Rugby, Athletics, David Beckham. 

You get meh?

Ireland : Topic 3 was no better really. A lot of people had been banking on the rise of Sinn Féin coming up, and it didn’t. Which is quite silly. I did a question on the Eucharistic Congress, which is a very waffle-filled topic, about how Irish pride and identity was created. Snore.

Then in the Dictatorship and Democracy section, no Mussolini! How dare they leave out my little Benito? He hasn’t appeared on the exam yet, so it seemed sure he’d be there. For Mussolini to be ignored three years in a row is just plain silly. Mussolini and Fascist Italy are a huge part of that section, and this should be reflected in what is asked in the exam. I was sorted for this one though, and talked about the civilian population in Britain during WWII. But why are we having to write about such boring material when there’s so many more interesting topics in that section. I had a friend of mine tell me recently that he can’t wait to finish the history exam, so he can go back to loving history. The way we study history for the Leaving Cert actually turns people off it, and the same goes for Irish. There’s something terribly wrong with that, and the State Exams Commission need to look at it. Or pay me to do it for you. Feck it, I’m sure I’d manage.

So, Physics next Monday and it’s all over. Four days to study for my final Leaving Cert exam. I miss it already…

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Seven down, three to go

Oh I can smell it. I can smell the freedom. Just three more Leaving Cert exams and I’m a free man, ready to go abuse my body in celebration of finally freeing myself of the burden that’s been on my shoulders for the past two years.

Had Irish Paper Two today, which I expected to be my worst so far. I was probably right. It was all very, meh. I was prepared for some aspects and managed to get a few decent points down on the page. For others there was some serious ‘grade A’ fertiliser coming out of my pen and onto those pages. Still, a page of manure is better than a blank page.

I’ve never seen so many people leave an exam so early. Honestly, people leaving after half an hour. Even if you know nothing about the poems/prose, make something up! I was pretty tired towards the end of my exam and wanted to skip a poetry question as I hadn’t studied that particular poem in any detail. But I had plenty of time, so grabbed a wine gum, had a sip of water and ploughed on, getting a good page and three-quarters out of something I was going to skip. If it’s utter tripe, then so be it, but I’m bound to pick up some marks. I left early in the end, but was among the last 20 people left in the hall, and I had completed all questions in a timely manner. The Irish exam papers have way too much time allocated to them, which is particularly frustrating because in History I have a limit 35 minutes to write an essay of minimum three pages (then do this three times = sore hand). What’s the story there SEC?

Anyway, French and History tomorrow. French is usually an okay exam, it’s just the Aural that can be tricky. I was an A student in French for my Junior Cert, and while I doubt I’d get an A in the LC, I expect to do decently. My oral exam (exactly two months ago) went quite well, so I’m off to a good start.

History is a daunting prospect. Last night I joked I had to go learn an entire language in the course of an hour for my Irish exam. Well tonight I have to go and learn the history of the world and practice writing about it at a ridiculously fast rate. The only way (realistically) with history is to gamble and study certain topics/essays and hope they get asked, so tonight I’ll be narrowing down those topics and reading/learning/writing essays in the hope that I’ll get lucky tomorrow. So far I’ve been lucky enough with these exams, particularly Geography (see two posts ago or today’s Irish Times for my say on that ), so let’s hope it continues.

Au revoir mes amis. And always remember : Pamplemousse.

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Six down, four to go

What a beautiful title this post has. Six exams down, just four left. You know what that means my beautiful adoring readers? I’m over the hump. Over half of my exams are done, 60% to be exact. I have just three days of exams left (sadly there’s a long gap between the penultimate and final days).

So today, a brace of compulsory subjects. Maths Paper Two and Irish Paper One. Many students drop down to ordinary level in one of these subjects, but I was too proud and stubborn ambitious and wanted to challenge myself so kept with higher level in both.

Maths first. Paper One had went well. Provided paper two wasn’t a catastrophe, I thought I’d be okay. And I was. A proof of the perpendicula distance formula? Well, since every man and his dog had predicted this, I reckon most students picked up a few easy marks there. Nothing too challenging, and I expect to pass maths (it’s my seventh subject so I just need a pass).

Irish was up next, I was worried. I joked with a friend at lunch that I had to go home and learn a whole new language within the next hour. I was decent at Irish back in the day, but the course is fairly ridiculous. I’ve studied Irish for how long? Twelve years? And French for six. Je parle le francais assez bien, ach níl mo ghaeilge go han-mhaith. (Please don’t correct my errors, English is my forté, I know). I had one essay half prepared - An Córas Sláinte (The Health System). Oh State Examinations Commission, how I love thee, you predictable little beauties! Essay option (c)  - “Scannal an Chórais Sláinte in Éirinn”. Oh yes. I’ll take that one, thank you very much. I’ll rant and rave about those failures within our health system. I’ll say it’s all to do with young people, drink, drugs, pressure, exams, unhealthy food and anything else. I’ll do it all day baby. Let me tell you how it’s a disgrace, a shameful story, and that something must be done about it before it’s too late. I think every student who has learned off Irish essays will be familiar with this.

From then on it’s just comprehensions, which were pretty odd, topic-wise, but were easy enough to answer on. This was the first exam I left early.

The aural was nothing to celebrate, but nothing to mourn either. Wasn’t too bad, but those god-forsaken Ulster accents will be the death of me. Just say “Conas atá tú?”, and be done with this “Go dté mar atá sibh” or whatever the hell they say. To make matters worse, the last guy on the tape had Ulster Irish, and an adolescent-sounding voice that gave the impression it was going to break at any second. Like the squeaky-voiced teen in the Simpsons. I seemed to be the only one to notice this though. Obviously this is everyone else being foolish and failing to observe the obvious, and not me over-analysing. Yeah?

Tomorrow - Irish paper two. Argh! A revolting paper. Little bits of silly poems about how much culchie poets hate the city. Just because there are more than 8 people living here doesn’t mean it’s worse. Sometimes I don’t mind that I don’t know every person I see. And Cathal O Searcaigh - Should I go there? No, it’s been done to death. (Must…resist…)

Ah well, I’m going to stick to my usual methods of exam preparation that’ve gotten me by these past few days. Watch Euro 2008 all day then go to study and berate myself for leaving it all so late. Then go to bed in the wee hours of the morning, still pumped of caffeine. It’s a beautiful life, nach bhfuil?

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Four down, six to go

My first two dayser’s over, and I’m feelin’ good my friends!

Maths Paper One was first. Through pride and stubbornness I chose to stick with Higher Level Maths, along with just another 15 students in my year. It went quite well, of course there were the tricky bits that I got horribly stuck on. I managed to keep with my good time-keeping though, getting six questions attempted. I’m just looking to pass maths, as it’ll most likely count as my seventh subject, and I imagine I did indeed pass that paper. With maths it’s very important to know the marking scheme and how it works. For some parts I couldn’t get the correct answer, but the answer is needed for the next bit of the question. What did I do? Make a note that I was making up an answer, and continue one with some number I conjured from thin air. I show I know my methods and get more attempt marks.

Then later there was Geography. Usually I’m quite the Geographer, but then again, usually I feel a lot more prepared than I did last night. So how did it go?

I will merely say that I would like to marry whoever made that paper. It went very well, asking the stuff I had prepared, and I waffled very little, knew my facts. Nice one State Exams Commission, all is forgiven from yesterday!

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Two down, eight to go.

English Paper Two. The first real test of knowledge I’ve had so far.

Three sections, Shakespeare, Comparative and Poetry.

The Shakespeare was okay. There was a given statement for us to discuss. I had predicted a question all about Iago, but the statement was more inclined towards Othello. No real complaints, I can cope. So then the comparative, namely Literary Genre which was my preferred option. So, State Exams Commission, what kind of LG question was that?! Very, very restricting question, took a lot of twisting and turning for my knowledge of LG to suit that question. Awful question. Time constraints on this paper are enough cause for complaint, we really don’t need a minor panic in the middle of the exam upon seeing such a disgusting question. I swung it my my way though, but I really would have struggled for time if things hadn’t started off well.

Unseen poetry (a miserable 5% of the overall grade in English) was relatively easy. There was a bit of a surprise in the prescribed poetry in the absence of Eavan Boland, the SEC showing their slightly sexist side by sticking (check my sibilant alliteration there folks, all that poetry’s rubbing off on me!) to their tradition of having only one female poet on the exam. (Would Adrienne Rich approve of such conduct?) None of the poetry questions involved writing a letter to the poet, which was a bit surprising also. But good ol’ Derek Mahon saved the day for me, that handsome poetic devil! A man who can make a thousand mushrooms in a disused shed become the forgotten victims of history is a man I’ll write about all day long thank you very much!

Tough one for me tomorrow, Maths Paper One (Why oh why did I stick to higher level?) and Geography.

Oh and if any particular national newspaper happens to be reading this, while I absolutely love seeing my ramblings being published, I don’t particularly like seeing my ramblings being published and credited to someone else, so do keep an eye on that I’ll forgive though, I’m nice like that.

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